Lost
by Poxy Kirkman
Summary: He knew where he was and what to do, that is until he lost her. two-shot, thankyou everyone who reviewed for the reviews!
1. lost

Lost

**Lost**

****

This is my first fan-fic, so please be nice! Reviews welcome, and so is constructive criticism.

I was your typical young man; fed up of being stuck in one place, with the same old boring things to do every single day. I wanted to see the world, experience new things and see things I had never seen before.

I left my hometown searching for a new life. I had purpose, I had somewhere to go. I knew where I was, who I was.

_**That's before I lost her.**_

Life wasn't working for me. I had nowhere to go, so I went home. But my mother had died, and my little sister had run away. I knew what to do, move on, what else could I do? Then I found myself in Mineral town. Once again I had a reason to carry on.

_**I lost my reason to carry on.**_

I rented a room at the inn. I shared it with my now best friend Gray. But back then I didn't have a job, nobody talked to me because I was the 'stranger' intruding into their happy and blissful lives. I went to the only place I felt I could find solace; Church.

_**I don't go there now.**_

I met her there. I saw her sitting in one of the pews, her long blond hair hiding her face, but upon hearing my footsteps her head whipped around, blond bangs flying around her face, and I found myself staring into deep aquamarine eyes. I was transfixed, awestruck, amazed. I felt as if I knew nothing about this girl (which honestly I didn't) but I knew so, so much about her just by looking into those large, blue orbs.

_**I miss them.**_

She smiled at me, such an enchanting smile, and I felt my own lips twist upwards into a small smile too, and my legs were starting forward towards the blond beauty, I literally couldn't control myself, but I don't think I minded much.

_**I don't care about much nowadays.**_

I talked to her. I actually talked to her, in a civil way too! We talked about each-other, I learned her name (Claire), who she was (the new farmer), and why she had come to be here, and to me, this was what drew my interests to her all the more. She lost her family, she had no where to go, and needed a _new life_.

_**She didn't even get a real chance at life though.**_

We began to hang around each-other. We were friends the first time we met. But the more time I spent with her, the more I found myself attracted to her; Her simple beauty, her kind voice, her loving smile. And she also in turn was attracted to me. We went to the towns festivals together, we were dates at the summer fireworks festival, but as fall drew around, I found myself in hardships. I was running out of money, and fast.

She loaned me some, then a week later when I was just thinking there was no hope, she ran to me, and I found myself being thrown backwards onto the hard ground, in a flurry of golden hair and tangled limbs. As I tried to come to my senses after this mild shock, I was forced to try and make some sense of the stream of words pouring from her mouth. After some moments of attempting to quieten her, and calm her down, she told me there was an opening at the winery for a part time job, but only if I went straight away.

_**That job only prolonged the heart ache I would have to suffer from loosing her. If only I had realised that sooner.**_

I got the job, and worked my hardest, especially since the fall was the main harvesting season. And as the bitter, cruel winter rolled in, I found myself fatigued. I walked through the square one day as the snow swirled around me, only to collapse through lack of energy. The last thoughts that passed through my befuddled mind were of the day I returned home, to find it empty.

_**If only I hadn't been found, I would have had to suffer this pain. Am I just being selfish now?**_

I woke up groggily, to see a bright light, and many mixed voices. I can feel someone gripping my hand, and slowly tilt my head to see Claire holding onto me like her life depended on it (though it was my life on the line), her face was tear stained, and she seemed to be listening to a conversation from behind the curtain, I listened closely, and could just make out the Doctor and Elli's voices, low in a heated debate.

I couldn't tell what they were saying, but Alex did mention something about me, that if I didn't wake up soon, there wasn't much chance of me surviving. That did kind of make me panic, so I think as I bolted up and out of the bed, I was extremely lucky Claire didn't have a heart-attack.

Then Elli and Alex rushed in, aware of the commotion I was causing. It took a moment for me to calm down. But the others seemed relieved I was even awake, never mind randomly jumping out of hospital beds. Claire told me I had fallen into a temporary coma. Then out of the blue, she gave me a photo. It was me when I was younger, with my mother and sister. As I stared at the photograph, she stared at me, as if asking for an explanation.

_**Maybe if I hadn't told her, we wouldn't have grown closer.**_

I did tell her, I told her everything; my past, my family, how I came to be here. And she listened intently. When I had finished, she did the last thing I expected her to do, she hugged me. It was just so warm, so comforting, I wanted to spend forever in her arms.

_**But forever isn't long enough.**_

I went back to normal life. I worked, ate, slept and spent all my spare time with Claire. I was happy, she was happy. So I gathered up the courage to do something I was thinking about doing for a long time. At the summer fireworks, I pulled out a small blue object from my pocket, and asked her to marry me. And to my great surprise, she accepted.

_**I sometimes wonder what everything would have been like if she had declined.**_

The next month was full of preparations, plans, trying different suits and dresses on, sorting out the reception party, and other things linked with the wedding. Then on the 17th day in fall, we were pronounced husband and wife, and I felt like the happiest man alive as we sealed it with a kiss.

_**My happiness was short lived.**_

Again winter rolled in, but this time I was fit and healthy, my new wife saw to that. Though I have plentiful work at the orchard, she was at a loss to do at the farm, so when her work was done with the animals, she wandered up to the winter mine, and searched for ores that weren't found any other time of year.

_**That mine is now avoided, for the mountains are dangerous in winter.**_

I had returned home, to find Claire missing. But I waited patiently; she couldn't be too long, could she? One after the other the hours passed and I felt my stomach knot as I grew more and more anxious. I was about to go looking for her when a loud rapping sounded at the front door. I rushed there, expecting to see Claire, but instead it was Gray. His face was white, and all he could tell me was to come quick.

_**I should have seen it coming. **_

He led me to the clinic, and upon walking in, my eyes strayed over to the bed, only to see my beautiful wife laying there, death set upon her pale, porcelain skin. I timidly walked up to her, to see she was breathing lightly. Her lids were closed and she looked so peaceful. I was aware the doctor was talking to me, but I couldn't hear a word of it. I sat beside her, and held her hand as she did with mine not much over a year ago. I sat, and waited. Waited for the final breath I knew all to well was coming.

_**I lost her.**_

I sat by her side until the very end, and as she took her last shuddering breath, I felt a part of me die too. I didn't cry. I didn't show any emotion. Its not that I didn't care, I was just in shock. I left quietly, despite the fact that they were calling me back. I walked away, for once in my life, I was lost. I didn't know what to do, or where I was meant to go from here.

I lost her, and I have only just realised that I would have been, and now am, lost without… Claire.


	2. black heart

Lost – chap

Lost – chap.2.

I'm sat alone in the darkness. There's no noise, no light, no-one to comfort me. I truly am alone.

She died. I can't believe she died, and her life was only just beginning. No-one saw this coming, no-one… I can't let go of that tiny bit of me that hopes and wishes she'll come back, even if I know that's impossible. I'd give anything to be with her, to hold her, and smell the scent of the strawberry and cream shampoo she uses. But that will never happen.

I can't cry anymore. I sobbed as soon as it hit me, and it hit me hard. She was gone, and I was left alone, alone to my thoughts, feelings and regrets. I regret that I left my hometown, left my mother and sister. I regret that I went home too late, because they had already gone. I regret that I came to Mineral Town…

But I don't regret that I met her. I can think about all the wonderful times we had together, watching the moon, the stars, dancing together, giving each other gifts. I think about all those wonderful times, and I small ray of light shines through this dense blackness. But then I think of all the times we have now lost, that we can't spend together, and the light fades fast, I am once again engulfed in the cold darkness.

I want it to stop, to end. But I can't climb out of this black hole. So I'll just sit here, and think, and wait. But what am I waiting for? Only the goddess knows. I should think about the recent times, the last time we spent together… the funeral? No! I can't think about that. But then again, it's hard not to.

I was sat in the front pew, the one where I first saw her, where I was first mesmerized by those shining blue orbs of hers. I looked up, and saw the shiny black coffin, the one which contained my wives body. It was polished to perfection, but this only added to the eerie, foreboding apparel around it.

I can still smell the sickly sweet scent of white lilies, her favourite flowers, shipped here just for her. I can still hear the droning organ music ringing, ringing, ringing in my ears. I watch as the pastor makes his speech, I can't hear him; he looks at me, as if expecting me to get up and say a few words, but decides against it.

We walk outside, and I look upon the gravestone which bears her name, and a sentence or two about her. But it is meaningless; nothing can describe how wonderful she was.

Silent tears fall down my face, creating small streams across my skin. The hurt and pain is too much. I hate how I feel, but what can I do to stop that? I can't bring her back. However much I want to.

My heart is in tatters, I'd be dying inside, if there was anything left alive… I died when she did. She was my life, everything that made me whole.

To be truthful, I'm scared. No, I'm terrified. I can't live without her. So I shall stay forever in this black pit, dwelling in my misery.

Whoever thought, that my heart would be my blackened prison?


End file.
